Yeah, probably not a good idea. Especially if he is 18 months old, definitely not a good idea. But still, there are times when my greatest desire is to communicate my displeasure to him with something water filled and porcelain.
Does that make me a bad parent?
No, I haven’t done it…
Will it be ok when he’s a teenager?
No, never mind.
Anyway, I’ve been reading Welcome to My Brain [dot] Net for some time now. She is a friend from college. She’s grown into a wonderful mother, with such great advice. She’s been blessed with RAD issues. Errr… perhaps not the best way to say that.
She and her husband have adopted children with RAD issues. Yeah, that is probably a better way to say that.
She is my hero when it comes to parenting? I read her blog consistently, because it reminds me how blessed I am to be a part of the family I’m in. I’m sure she feels the same way, completely blessed in her situation.
I’ve found an unexpected side affect to reading about such awesome parenting. I’m embarrassed to ask questions, or for help, when it comes to my own parenting experience.
“Surely, I have no problems that come even close to that of other families!”
That’s a true statement.
“My kid is wonderful compared to <insert just about any name of any kid in town>.”
Yep, I feel that way. I can’t begin to tell you how truly blessed I feel.
But, that doesn’t help me figure out how to be a better father. For instance, we are trying to teach him to not throw things, nor act out by slapping (literally, anything that is within reach) when we tell him, “No, do not throw <insert object>.” He looks at me, gives me just about the most disdainful look I’ve ever beheld, and slaps (Palm-Heel strike anyone?) the coffee table. I’m not sure, but I think he may have also stamped a foot as well. The little brat toot.
So, for those that have made it successfully through the pre-two years, any advice?
Tim
p.s. I gain more respect for my mother every day. It’s a miracle that she let me live/kept me alive into adulthood.
July 10, 2009 at 11:56 am |
I haven’t raised a 2-year-old…but I’ve watched my parents raise my 5 younger siblings, so, here’s some encouragement from that.
First, if properly trained/handled, these years will pass and they’ll be a good kid.
The fact that your kid is hard to control right now doesn’t mean you’re doomed!
Second, firmness is the key to success. If you tell your little man that he needs to not throw the object, you can add onto that, “and don’t hit anything either”. Then next time he does hit something, discipline him. The biggest problem parents tend to have with toddlers is that because they’re cute, they won’t discipline the kid. Now what discipline is varies for different families – time-outs, spankings, gruff look, whatever your form of discipline is, it just has to exist and be exercised.
Third, don’t give up. The little angel you had before still exists, and with the right training, will return.
Fourth, realize the importance of this time. Your little son is learning who to love and how to obey. Love him like there’s no tomorrow…and give him the training he needs to succeed in life.
Fifth, can I say it again? This is a battle you can win.
Find some good resources to guide you – perhaps some books that agree with your perspective on child-rearing and that you can learn from, or a couple in the church that’s raised their kids and their kids are walking according to the truth.
—
And that all is the basic stuff that my parents would tell a young family…so…maybe something in it will help.
July 10, 2009 at 12:21 pm |
Nice, thanks Liz.
Tim
July 10, 2009 at 2:08 pm |
My absolute FAVORITE resource for that age is the Love & Logic book geared just for kids ages birth to six.
Love it. Very helpful. They also have it on audio, so you can listen to it, while chasing your little one all over the planet.
There are no magical bullets. It’s all about consistency. You also teach every day by how you keep it together when they are pushing your buttons. There is no book for that. However, drunkeness, screaming into a pillow or beating your head against the wall are common resources for many parents.
Dude, you have an 18 month old. You have it bad. I’ve had three of them. Trust me – it IS a bear. It’s not just you.
July 10, 2009 at 2:14 pm |
You are to kind. Lorie likes to point out that either he’s received all of his bad habits from me, or at least half of them.
What really gets me, is that at times he will look around for me, raise his hand up, and then slap the table/toy/cat/whatever, and then give me this look as if he just got away with something.
Tim