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Category Archives: Family

Tike’s Manifesto

14 Monday Mar 2016

Posted by Tim Dahl in Blog Like a Pro, Family, Ministry, USAF

≈ Leave a comment

I’ve joined Jeff Goins’: “Blog Like a Pro (BLP) Challenge,” and the first thing we need to write about is our Manifesto.

Granted, I’ve never really desired to write a Manifesto before. He defines it as “…a short, shareable document that makes an argument, that tells the world what you’re about.” It draws a “line in the sand, which forces you to clarify your message.”

Well, clarity and focus are a good thing.

When I was in Seminary, I had a professor that had us define ourselves by the roles we play. It was an self-reflection exercise. While I balked it, I now find great value in it. I find great value in being a Husband, a Father, and a Christian minister. These are three of the greatest things that I care about.

The BLP Challenge gives us three questions to think about, as we craft our Manifesto:

  1. What’s the problem?
  2. What’s the solution?
  3. What’s the next step?

I like those questions. I can’t help but look at them through the eyes of who I am; the roles that I play.

What is the problem?

I think that the problem is us being, or not being, who we were created to be.

Yes, there are a lot of assumptions in that. There are assumptions in every stance, argument, and idea that we have. I hope that I’m fairly aware of my assumptions. Still, given the inherent issues with them; I still hold them. I hold to the idea that there is a God. I hold to the idea that God has a preferred future, including for my life…my being. That I am created with purpose and intentionality. That I am in process, hopefully moving forward and not backwards.

That process of me becoming includes a few things.

For instance, when we were pregnant with our first son, I was given some great advice. An elderly gentleman in our church named Bob called me over and said, “Preacher…you want to know what that baby boy is going to need from you the most?!”

Look, Bob had been married for over 60 years to his wife and raised three beautiful and successful children. I figured he knew something.

I nodded my head, and said, “Sure Bob. What will my son need from me the most.”

Bob answered, “He’s going to need a daddy that loves his momma.”

I’ve never forgotten that. It matches up with what the Bible tells me to do; to love my wife as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her. That I’m supposed to live sacrificially for my wife. That I’m supposed to honor her above all else. My kids aren’t my priority; their mother is my priority. It is part of my being.

I’m also a daddy, and their ain’t nothin’ better! I can’t begin to describe what it means for me to hold my children in my arms. I can’t begin to describe how much it hurts to be separated from my family during my deployment. I knew, the moment that I held each of them in my arms, that things had irrevocably changed. It was a good thing, no a great thing! I want to be the best dad that I can. It is part of my being.

Finally, I’m a minister…a USAF Chaplain to be exact. I used to be a pastor. I was a youth minister for a while, and even lead music in a church for a couple of years. But, being a USAF Chaplain is something that fits me like a glove. I get to teach and preach, just like a pastor. But, I also get more of an opportunity to care for others outside of my Chapel congregation. I get to care for people, completely and utterly where they are. No condemnation, just listening and caring for them. It fits into who I am, in a very fulfilling way. The best part about it is that I get to help people in the areas that I care so much about. I get to help them in figuring out what it means to be a better spouse. I get to help them in figuring out what it means for them to be better parents. I get to help them in figuring out what it is for them to be who God created them to be.

I love it.

What’s the Solution?

I think Discipleship is. I think following the Way of Jesus is. I think that living that life in front of others is a beautiful thing. I know that when I’m living in such a way that I prioritize following Christ, what the world sees is a guy that really loves his wife. What the world sees is a father that deeply cares for his children. What the world sees is a Chaplain that is known for caring for his Airmen. I don’t have to tell them that my overriding priority is Christ. They can see it in how I treat others.

Granted, it’s a lot easier to say than to do. My selfishness gets in the way. My desire for comfort, for power, for influence…all makes me less of who I am supposed to be.

But, perhaps there is some value in the struggle. Perhaps there is value in transparency. Perhaps, there is value in letting people see how we try so hard, some times fail, and yet get back up again.

If so, then that leads me to the last question

What is the next step?

For now, the next step is blogging. I have an opportunity to put a little time into it. Perhaps the words that are typed upon this digital medium will encourage someone to do differently, to try a little bit harder, to look a little bit deeper.

As I continue in my USAF career, I can be more intentional in discipleship. I have a few tools in the tool box in regards to mentoring. I can offer it as a part of my services to my Airmen. I can teach Lunch and Learns on the subjects. Most of all, I have the unique opportunity to get out on the flight-line, in the hangars, in the offices of the Airmen.

This is something that most ministers will never get.

Access.

I can live among the men and women of the USAF, and just mirror the way of Christ.

So, that is it. This can be my Manifesto. I desire to reflect Jesus back onto the world. I want to mirror Christ, so that others can see.

I’ll use this opportunity to write my experiences of living among people; while I try to mirror the way of Jesus.

Perhaps you’ll join me? Perhaps, you’ll do your own walk and mirroring along the way.

Tim

“Hope is our weapon against the darkness.”

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By Any Means

24 Wednesday Apr 2013

Posted by Tim Dahl in Dad Life, Family

≈ Leave a comment

I was first alerted to this video via Strong Fathers.

It’s worth a listen to…

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Parenting, When You Don’t Have The Words…

10 Sunday Feb 2013

Posted by Tim Dahl in Dad Life, Family, Parenting

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

2 year old, messy, pizza hands, pizza kisses

At times, words fail me.

I wish I had a picture.

Actually…

No.

No I don’t.

The boys were… Let’s just say restless in church.

Yeah, that’s it. Restless.

We were all tired, and Sunday is a day when no one is forced to cook. We went to a local Italian Restaurant (which was really good).

How do I explain?

What words do I use?

Here’s the picture (in words).

The 2 year old is beside me, the 5 year old (and mom) is across the table.

I’m wearing a very nice shirt/tie/sweater-vest combo with slacks.

The two year old, steadies himself using my leg as a brace.  The one area that isn’t covered by a napkin.

Pizza hands.

Some how, some salad dressing (wife shared with 2 yr old) ends up on my shirt.  Still not sure how that happened.

Then, my wonderful child decides to “hug” dad’s arm, and give it kisses…

Yes, Pizza hands and kisses… 

On my really nice shirt… and slacks.

I’ve learned, when you sit beside the child; you’re just as likely to wear his lunch as he is himself.

I’ll label this as “Things they didn’t teach you…in life.”

Tim

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I’ve Got Boys

07 Thursday Feb 2013

Posted by Tim Dahl in Dad Life, Family, Life, Parenting

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

dad, dadlife, parenting, raising boys, son, worry

I’ve got two boys.  Two small boys at the moment.  They are both sweet and incouragable, all at the same time.  Man, I love my kids.

I’m worried for them.

I’m worried for them for more than just one reason.

In the movie, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, there is a point that really got to me.  It is at the very end.  The youngest son, stands up to his mother, letting her know that THIS particular young lady was who he loved…was who he was going to marry.

She relented to their union, accepting the young lady into her family.  Then she says something along the lines of:

“…but, I reserve the mother’s right to worry…”

You know what, I reserve the father’s right to worry as well.

I’m not worried about terrorists.  I’m not worried about natural disasters. I’m not worried about the things that might sneak up and tag them from behind.

I can’t do a thing about those.

  • No, I worry about what I’m sending them into.
  • I worry about what I may be doing to them (intentionally and unintentionally).
  • I worry about those things that I do have some sort of influence over, yet…don’t.

I’m not worried about what I can’t control, but those things that I do.

I think that I may write about some of those worries here for a little bit.

Do you worry about your children?  If so, what are your worries?

Tim

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Pattern of Living, Barking at My Kids

22 Tuesday Jan 2013

Posted by Tim Dahl in Dad Life, Family, Leadership, Life, Parenting

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Barking, Children, dad life, Kids, parenting, Yelling

Something I’ve come under conviction for. My boys learn what it is to be a dad, man, and husband from me.

Tim

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Belated Father’s Day

19 Tuesday Jun 2012

Posted by Tim Dahl in Dad Life, Family, Life

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

dad life, dadlife, father's day

I’ve not written anything concerning Father’s Day, though I have thought about it.

I’ve read what other people have written.

I’ve cried a little bit.

I am a dad, afterall.

Like on this one from Dad-O-Matic: “My Little Girl Has the Biggest Heart.”

I am a dad, afterall.

 

I’ve wasted some time listening to the SBC Annual Convention Live Stream. Go there only if you desire some serious mind numbing.

We just got out of VBS, and I’m letting my eldest child go to another one down the street. Of course, I had to be there half the time to see how they were doing things.

While we did recognize Fathers on Sunday, we mostly celebrated the success of our VBS.

All of this, keeping Father’s Day at arms length.

This is what’s going on in my heart. My dad died a little over 4 years ago. While preparation for VBS kept me from thinking about it to much; Post-VBS has left me with time to think.

Basically, I’m still mourning the loss of my father.

I’m sure this will continue to happen to some extent the rest of my life. I don’t  expect it, nor do I desire it to change.

Now that he’s gone, I think of all the kinds of things I could have said to him.

…conversations I could have attempted.
…life lessons to be passed down.
…stories to pass on to my own children.

Alas, it is to late. That is what I grieve.

However, I also find energy in my grief. This is energy to take more, and different initiative as a dad in the lives of my own children. Where I miss the potential opportunity of meaningful conversation with my father; I can set forth my own intention of doing so with my kids. Where I miss the chance to show affection to my own father, I can show affection to my own children.

Where I don’t have the opportunity to be blessed by my father. I can bless my own children, even this very day.

So yeah, I’ve not really written anything about Father’s Day.

But, I’ve been thinking about it.

It has been in my head and in my heart.

Tim

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Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters

13 Wednesday Jun 2012

Posted by Tim Dahl in Dad Life, Family, Life, Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

dad, dadlife, Dr. Meg Meeker, Father, fathers and daughters, strong fathers strong daughters

I first came upon this via a post by Maurilio Amorim.

There is a book out called: “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters” by Dr. Meg Meeker.  Even though I don’t have daughters, I still want to read it!

Here is her interview on the Today Show.

The reason I’m bringing it to your attention is this.  She says that, “Women end up marrying what they are familiar with, not what they want.” (my paraphrase.)

That rung a bell, and then I remembered words from a friend of mine named Doug.  He has at least one daughter 🙂 , and he once gave me some unsolicited advice.  He said, “Love your daughter so much that she won’t take anything less from another man.” (Again, I’m paraphrasing. It is from my faulty memory!)

All this to say, our children are watching, imitating and thus learning from us.

Dads, You Matter!

It Takes A Dad.

Tim

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Check Out “The P Word”

18 Friday May 2012

Posted by Tim Dahl in Dad Life, Family, Leadership, Life

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

dad, dad life, dadlife, Derek Redmond, running, son

If you’re a dad, I heartily recommend you checking out “The P Word” today. The post, “Lighting the Flame” is great!

Watch the video. Read his thoughts on it.  Bring a tissue.

I’m still tearing up from that last post!

Tim

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No Pass, No Play…in Church?

16 Wednesday May 2012

Posted by Tim Dahl in Dad Life, Family, Life

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

failing, no pass no play, passing, school, teenagers, youth

I have a friend.

My friend has a high school aged child.

The child is deeply involved in church life. Seems to have a committed spiritual life. Even started a christian group at school.

My friend’s kid is also doing rather horribly academically.

We could talk about how we are supposed to honor God with our work; and school is the work of the teenager. I seem to remember Paul saying something about not working and not eating.

I think we could have a discussion about how doing our best in society (work for adults, school for teens) creates an opportunity for witness. Didn’t Paul make tents, living among the people gaining credibility and opportunity?

I bet we could make some sort of conversation around the idea that God uses the mundane, the every day, the ruts in our lives as points of transformation.  Didn’t David spend years after his anointing as King, still playing the part of the shepherd of his daddy’s sheep?  Did God use that time to create in him what He needed His would-be-King to be?

All this to say, maybe churches should have a No Pass, No Play Rule.  Sure parents can do that too, and we can encourage them in that! Churches could come alongside parents, encouraging their youth to at least pass their classes to be able to engage in special church activities…say…like mission trips, retreats, etc.

I wasn’t a straight A student.

I’ve never been the sharpest tool in the shed. The one thing that kept me engaged in the courses I found so utterly useless and boring was the No Pass, No Play Rule. Can’t churches, in some way, shape, form or fashion, come along side of parents in this?

What do you think? Bad idea? How can churches help out in this area?

Tim

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The One Thing Our Kid(s) Needs

08 Tuesday May 2012

Posted by Tim Dahl in Dad Life, Family, Life, Parenting

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Bob Matthews, Love Mom, Mother's Day, One Thing

I had known Bob Matthews for more than a couple of years.  As I think back, I had probably known him for about five years.

He was one of my Senior Adult men of the church.  He was into his 90s, been married well beyond 60 (68?) years, and raised three great daughters.  He’s a man that a younger guy could look up to.

We had announced in church that our first born was on his way.  I believe we were into our 2nd tri-mester of the pregnancy.

It was before one service, and Bob waved me to the back of the church.  I shook his hand, and he put his other hand on my shoulder.

He said, “Pastor, do you want to know the one thing your little baby will need the most?”

I replied, “Absolutely Bob, what is it?”

Bob said, “He’s going to need a Daddy that loves his Mommy.”

No truer words have ever been spoken to me.

Thank you Bob.  I miss you. I’m trying me best to follow your advice.

Tell me. Are you giving your kid(s) the one thing that they really need today, dad?

Tim

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