I saw this at One Sentence [dot] org.
After a small congratulatory yay for Hawaii’s gay rights, I learned that coming out to my dad wouldn’t just cost me another guilt tripping lecture, but the right to call him dad.
I want to focus on the very last part about her loosing the “right to call him dad.”
First off, understand that I use the term “Dad” as both a term of position and affection. Your’s can be anything you want it to be: “Pop, Father, Big Guy, Bull, …whatever.”
My Premise – I’m a Dad
I firmly believe that I have both a Privilege and a Responsibility to be my kid’s “dad.” I don’t have the “Right” to start or stop being my children’s dad at any given moment. While I may have the responsibility to inform my children’s view of my identity, I don’t have the “right” to tell my kids that “I’m not their dad anymore.”
The Stupid – Choose to not be Dad?
You see, that is what the above quote is about. A daughter came out to her father. Her father obviously vehemently disagreed with it and proclaimed that she can no longer identify him as being her dad.
What a sad thing.
The Consequence – Idiocy
He Forfeited his Position in her life, he didn’t take it away. He forfeited his ability to speak meaningfully into her life. He forfeited on his Responsibility to Actively Love his daughter.
In other words: As a “Dad,” He Is A Failure.
Not because she is choosing/participating in something he disagrees with. But, because he acted in a very non-dad way. He’s a failure because of his choice to not love her in the midst of the disagreement.
Guys, we have a choice where our kids don’t. We began making the choice the moment we decided to impregnate their mother. We make that choice every moment of every day.
Will we be the “dads” we are meant to be? Will we be the kind of “dads” we have a responsibility and privilege of being to our children regardless of their actions?
I am choosing to be. Will you?